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How's The Weather?

from Train Of Thought by millicow

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lyrics

It all started when my head left the pillow
When I departed my bed, I said hello
To the darkness my old friend, silent killa
Tears apart the lives of many like godzilla

Why they act like it's so easy to be stable?
Do they not fight inner demons every day, no?
It takes all I got defeating all these a-holes
It's a full time job to keep my golden halo

From the start I wasn't ready for this trouble
From the start I saw my day as one big struggle
Sleepless morning, I lay awake under the covers
Beeping alarm, I've been waiting for this moment

Repeat the motions that sustain me for a while
Even though it causes pain, it's my survival
I'm always overstimulated by the rat race
Ignore it every single day so the rent gets paid



I wasn't rested, wasn't ready, and through all the day I carry
Weight of stress from yesterday, like a snowball down a valley
When it crashes in the thorny bushes full of tangled ivy
I am dragged into the storm and pushed and pulled through pain I'm hiding



It's a full time job preventing inner breakdown
It takes all I got to win these mental battles/break these mental shackles
One day I see God, the next I'm in the brimstone
Always holding back irrational temptations

Not controlled by bad emotional sensations
Won't let go and lash out it's not cool to hate man
I am told to act like it's their fault but they did
Nothing wrong, the fact is that I'm a bit unstable

I hold on and act kind so I don't flip tables
I know all the fat lies, can't believe the fables
That come from the bad guys living on my shoulders
They're so silly that I will not give in to their orders

I show outward no sign when it's a bad day so
I don't spread emotion to innocent people
Never cower no I will not be unfaithful
I have power to fight illness in my mental



I wasn't rested, wasn't ready, and through all the day I carry
Weight of stress from yesterday, like a snowball down a valley
When it crashes in the thorny bushes full of tangled ivy
I am dragged into the storm and pushed and pulled through pain I'm hiding



I'm so tall that people ask me how's the weather?
You don't want to hear the answer to that question
I took one too many dabs and shrooms and acid
Don't come down completely after using that shit

To be honest though I was already trippin
From the start I know I was so very different
Took too long to grow a mask so I could fit in
Did some drugs that showed me I's mad from the beginning

When the weather's getting messy, that's when I know
In my bed I am not resting like I need to
Then I bag up all my stress and drag it with me
Til I have a chance to face that crap completely

Meditation helps prevent this toxic buildup
Moderation with the weed to stop insomnia
But escaping frequently, intoxicated
Doesn't really change a thing, not medicated



God have mercy, I've been hurting. It's confusing, all-consuming
I can't let me fall into these twisted views, the loss of beauty
Help me find direction, it's beyond perplexing
Is my mind a prison? Have I become obsessive?



My depiction is a victim of the system that I live in
Egotistical perspective, getting sick of pessimism
Feeling seasonal affective, chilling wind depressive symptoms
See a difficult reflection, living in a mental schism

Hypersensitive my senses, heightened nervous system glitch, sur-
viving with a mental difference, like a trip without a substance
Kinda wish there's not the stigma, fed up with the pessimism
I'm not lazy, I'm not sick just stimulated past my limit

In my brain I scream until I write these pages
Then impatiently I wait til I'm not needed
So that I can meet the microphone and feed it
Release everything, it's time to show my secrets

Like a bird is compelled to sing
I am learning to spread my wings
Writing words is the best release
For the hurt in my chest to leave

credits

from Train Of Thought, released July 10, 2023

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millicow Kansas City, Missouri

love.

A style all of its own, inspired by rap, hip hop, synthwave, classical music, heavy metal, black metal, synthpop, and more.

Packed full of finely crafted sounds, textures, melodies, rhythms, harmonies, and conscious, insightful poetry, I translate spirit into sounds that aim to induce states of psychedelic trance and emotional catharsis.

other projects:
greatinbox.bandcamp.com ... more

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