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1. |
Train Of Thought
04:41
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Welcome to my album, I hope you stay long
I was gonna name this one Growing Pains, but
Then I found a toilet dumped by the railroad
So we took a picture of it and called it train of thought
And that's a perfect fit for how this came about
It's like I took a shit and picked the peanuts out
No lie I got hit by a speeding train of thought
Cause I did not see it coming or hear the sound
And what you're hearing now is a potent distillation
Little slice of my life and the product of my patience
From my psychedelic mind, about the demons that I'm facing
From the angels that supply us with creative innovation
Who really writes my rhymes? Should I really take the credit?
Are my thoughts even mine? Do I collaborate with spirits?
If you could take a step inside and get a taste of how I'm feeling
You'd wonder how I survive in this trippy state of being
It's like acid fucking magic how I tap in when I'm rapping
Stepping back into my past the baddest habit I can't stop it
Coming fast I let it happen with compassion fingers tapping
I'm an engine of creation can't imagine being different
I'm an envelope that carries entertainment I deliver
Clever message I'm invested, so obsessive got me restless
No protection to prevent imagination fertilization
So I spread into the heavens never-ending exploration
Freight train, fried brain, lay awake, make it rain
Face pain, quatrains, paper stained, write for days
Change ways, blank slate, take the reins, break the chains
Play games, chase fame, make a name, pave my lane
Come travel the tracks right behind my thought train
The ramblings that I simply cannot contain
They pester and nag until I am not sane
And never hold back, not until a songs made
It really ain't no joke, it's every fucking day
Every single thing I wrote all starting to sound the same
And I'm tempted to throw this fucking song away
But I promised myself that I wouldn't judge or hate
I just put out whatever junk I make
I'm not about to claim it's bad or great
I run around my brain it doesn't change
Til I let out ideas from the cage
Then I repeat them all so what's the point
What does it mean when stops the noise?
The only difference now is how they sound and rhyme
And have a rhythm rather than a constant burning grind
I live by music like religion, yet
I also get the feeling that it's meaningless
It's so ridiculous, but it is what it is
Still I gotta commit, to just keep on doing it
Cause I was born for this shit, I cannot just quit
There's always more words for my head to twist
There's always more stories for me to rap and spit
Once I get started it could never end
People say I'm quiet but I'm not
You're just loud
I'm not about this constant talking
It's a cloud
That clogs my inner monologue
I've got enough shit going on
Inside my constant dialogues
Close my mouth
I'd rather write until it's perfect
Then I speak
The only time I want to be heard
Is musically
And then I'll never quiet down
For once you'll hear me make a sound
And everybody listens now
Finally
I dream of standing before crowds
I feel it happening right now
I hear them chanting "MILLICOW"
I see them dancing and I'm proud
I see my family in front row
I see us living on the road
Attracting this reality
Magnetically no doubting me
I don't think I'm craving praise
I just want to feel like I'm brave
By showing my face, exposing my pain
And being totally fucking vulnerable on stage
Boldly ignoring all the haters
Cause there's not much that you could say that
I don't hear inside my brain
Every single fucking day
This album ain't half of what I wanted it to be
The outcome is all I have and I just need to leave it be
My poetry outruns my musical ability I need
to breathe cause I'm about to lose my mind again oh jeez
This is my self portrait and I hope it sounds hypnotic when I
Rap to you my stories all about my constant chronic inner
Chatter can't avoid it so I devote some songs about it and like
Magic they're immortal and they will live on without me
And I'll die happy
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2. |
Icy Cheeks
04:24
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All day in the car wearing icy cheeks
It breaks their hearts every time he leaves
He breaks apart in the driving seat
She aches, her heart, every time it beats
Being away so far, this is why he weeps
Each day is harder, feeling tiny and weak
All day in the car wearing icy cheeks
Can't take much more saying "five more weeks"
State line crossed and, sad cries following, had it all then, now I'm alone again
Late night calling, red eyes bawling, said I'm all in but I'm falling
Cause my wallet just ain't got enough shit in it to come visit
Only sawdust from my pocket cause my job eats all my time up
So I'm bothered, we cry harder each departure, end this torture
Days of sorrow, weeks pass on and I'm not there to be a father
Tell me honest please why are there rich ten figure leeching hoarders
Why would someone believe ever this behavior seems in order?
Cause they don't do shit about the simple fact we're sinking under
Always down through history we’re living cramped in weakening structures
Upside down priorities, our spending can't all be on warfare
Can't account for trillions went missing like they don’t even care?
We have the means to change these things
Look, ONE percent of our war budget
Equals seven billion, can you imagine
We put this money into our public?
Cause all we need is housing, please, the
Government we trusted gives no fucks when
The cost of living breaks our knees and
No one's talking about these things!
This isn't motherfucking normal
This isn't something to ignore, no
They're sucking us dry
Cause death to them is more important than life!
I write to show that it's time for the change
When we slide back home from that frightful state
Of survival mode, can't find a place
To call my home. Will I go broke?
Live on the roads inside a car that
Survived so far but might fall apart
Rip my soul apart with my home so far
And I work so hard but I can't support
Keep asking for help cause I'm nasty ill
And I can't pay bills so my headspace health
Is a hellscape here I'm possessed by fear
Can't rest, night terrors, my stress reappears
My life trajectory a knife that sticks in me
Survival physically feels like futility
At times it's sickening but I think differently
I find the lessons speak in life's difficulty
Bright side in every day I write about the rain
I find the words to say and light the darkest place
The fire can't be contained inside my burning brain
These lines just fill the page, I fight to be heard today
Cause if you can't relate, you got your cards to thank
And if you disagree, your lucky stars just gave you
Opportunities that aren't in tune with me
I try to be the voice of the silent majority
I can't stress enough the fact
We possess enough tech and intellect to connect
And correct the foremost sources of what is broken!
Can't we all have a home, a little space to roam?
Does anybody care, like truly care?
Anybody with the spare to be human and share?
When ninety percent of us find surviving so expensive
That dying is tempting and our society don't give a shit!
See what's wrong, how they make our eyes close
By keeping us all in a state of survival
Feeling this weight on our backs til our minds fold
Eons have came and then passed as we die cold
We need to change something fast, end the cycle
This isn't motherfucking normal
This isn't something to ignore, no
They're fucking us dry
Cause death to them is more important than life!
I'm not begging for pity; I just want to know why
We've taken their beatings for all of this time
A servant to the public oughta help us all thrive
But they spend all our money blowing up the next guy!
Can't we all have a home, a decent space of our own?
Is that too much to fucking ask? Because
Ninety percent of us find surviving so expensive that
Dying is tempting us, and society don't give a fuck!
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3. |
We Live To Work
04:44
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Thumbs on the keyboard I'm tapping notes
So many of these stories I haven't wrote
Wondering where to start and where to go
When do we tear apart the wetiko?
Take a seat next to me and I'll speak what I think
Awake the beast, oh yes indeed, the weaker me can rest in peace
Plain to see after these planted seeds eat the weeds
Fantasy can't defeat heavenly energies
Something bleak I perceive, and it seems clear to me
History of mysteries, humanity has been deceived
In the scenes of misery they've ran our countries to the sea
Now we're drowning in the blood of bodies who just wanted love
I write about this but I know that I can never do it justice
All I have to turn to lyrics is my personal experience
Words of truth and heavy bias, I am thankful for my life but
Hear me out I'll tell you why I feel the pain of modern times
This is happening.
Eyes are opening.
Minds and hearts keep
Fighting, growing.
Time is closing.
Society broken.
Lies are showing.
Denial is hopeless.
This song I wrote for my friends in the back
It's hard I know but you'll make it, yeah
Once I got out I can't go back
To the box that broke the handlers back
Can't stop me now, gonna state some facts
I'm walking out, let me take my bag
Go on the road to the stage and rap
Make mama proud and thank my dad
No money in our bank accounts
So funny how we're breaking down
Economy is fake and now
Our bodies are enslaved for our
Conveniently delivered toys
Disposable muscle employed
I know the hustle and the toil
The pay is not so worth the toll
Sweatshops are how we ship your package
You gotta load from the front to back and
Do it all alone, but it's much too fast
When you're walking home, bones crunch and crack
Human body just can't suffer that
Very long, ain't made to take this crap
So I'm gone, break away in creative act
Find a better way to make a check
To the bosses who dictate our checks
To the shoppers and the big execs
Listen up, you better pay respect
You're the box that broke the handler's back
You thought that you could change the fact
That it's wrong and inhumane to have
All of us at the bottom of the bucket
Living on some dollars that just don't cut it
And you thought that you won't face the fact
Okay watch this-boom! Your face I smack
Think you lost a tooth and they all laugh
You're just not used to the way we live
Get a doctor dude, just be thankful that
You've got the means to get your face looked at
Cause a hospital trip could set us back
Like twenty years of wages, yeah
Not talking about this place exactly, this
For all the jobs that break our back, all
The dads and moms can't feed their family
When they're falling over, weak and unhappy
Cause their bodies have been used like cattle
Our economy is too demanding
And we're crawling through it, centuries pass and
Got small improvement, mostly deception
And it's fucking up our mental health
Then they're telling us don't kill yourself
No giving up, listen, there's help
Well explain to me how in the hell
If I miss a week cause I've fallen ill
And I gotta to breathe and rest a while
Then we're on the streets, couldn't pay the bills
Now look us in the eyes and say you'll help
Get some therapy and take some pills
That is all you'll ever need if you're not well
But That's not entirely enough to solve
The futility of our modern world
It makes us feel so low and small
And breaks the spirit till hope dissolves
I create these lyrics to show you all
The chains that link us to the wall
And by the way, don't get me wrong
If you're in pain, want to end it all
I know the strain, why I write these songs
Take a moment, wait, cause your life is gold
So cry with me when you can't be strong
Just cry with me, you are not alone
Sometimes life is fucked and wrong
Come cry with me, I love you all
Change is happening.
Hearts are opening.
We will only keep
Fighting, growing.
Time is closing.
Society broken.
Lies are showing.
Denial is hopeless.
There's gotta be a way to run things better
There's gotta come a day they stop the pressure
How long will we pay to kill each other?
We've fallen prey to the sickest leaders
The trust we gave is in the dirt
The promise they made they still avert
Conspiracy? Corruption? Overpopulation?
We don't work to live, we live to work
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4. |
Talking With The Dead
03:42
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Jerry Marzinksy:
You know, hallucinations are all over the place; they're positive, they're negative, they're neutral, they're just all over the place. The schizophrenics were telling me that these voices are always telling them bad stuff! These things are consistently negative. And the truth is the truth. The voices are energetic entities; that's all there is to it. They can scream and holler and raise crap all they want, but the truth is the truth. I mean, these things are entities. They are not hallucinations. You know, until they realize that, there's nothing they're going to be able to do. They want you to believe that those negative thoughts belong to you...
Following the thread
Talking with the "dead"
Pondering what's said
Wallowing in dread
All these things connect
Stalling intellect
Trying to correct
Crying with the rest
Twisted deeds of sin
Sickest leaders win
Secrets keep us dim
Toxins keep us sick
Trying to prevent
Time that we transcend
Trying to prevent
Victory within
Jerry Marzinsky:
Everybody hears them to a certain degree. It's like I said, every negative thought about yourself or anybody else comes from them. Those aren't your thoughts. You know the pure being that you are doesn't have those kind of thoughts.
Please take this off my mind!
The state of humankind
The reign so long of lies
Each day I want to cry
The pain of all inside
Billions of lives
They never saw the light
Straining to survive
This can't go on this time
We will evolve or die
We could resolve the fights
Revealing all the lies
Billions of lives
I always want to cry
Their pain has blocked the light
We're straining to survive
Twisted deeds of sin
Sickest leaders win
Secrets keep us dim
Toxins keep us sick
Trying to prevent
Time that we transcend
Trying to prevent
Victory within
Is this my pain to carry?
Do I have a choice?
If we are one and you are me,
Then what does that imply?
Jerry Marzinsky:
They don't want you to realize that those thoughts are coming in from somewhere else. They're not yours. You know, cause if they can trick you into believing that every thought in your head belongs to you, they got you. You know, you start beating on yourself, you turn on yourself. That's what they want.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
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5. |
How's The Weather?
06:01
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It all started when my head left the pillow
When I departed my bed, I said hello
To the darkness my old friend, silent killa
Tears apart the lives of many like godzilla
Why they act like it's so easy to be stable?
Do they not fight inner demons every day, no?
It takes all I got defeating all these a-holes
It's a full time job to keep my golden halo
From the start I wasn't ready for this trouble
From the start I saw my day as one big struggle
Sleepless morning, I lay awake under the covers
Beeping alarm, I've been waiting for this moment
Repeat the motions that sustain me for a while
Even though it causes pain, it's my survival
I'm always overstimulated by the rat race
Ignore it every single day so the rent gets paid
I wasn't rested, wasn't ready, and through all the day I carry
Weight of stress from yesterday, like a snowball down a valley
When it crashes in the thorny bushes full of tangled ivy
I am dragged into the storm and pushed and pulled through pain I'm hiding
It's a full time job preventing inner breakdown
It takes all I got to win these mental battles/break these mental shackles
One day I see God, the next I'm in the brimstone
Always holding back irrational temptations
Not controlled by bad emotional sensations
Won't let go and lash out it's not cool to hate man
I am told to act like it's their fault but they did
Nothing wrong, the fact is that I'm a bit unstable
I hold on and act kind so I don't flip tables
I know all the fat lies, can't believe the fables
That come from the bad guys living on my shoulders
They're so silly that I will not give in to their orders
I show outward no sign when it's a bad day so
I don't spread emotion to innocent people
Never cower no I will not be unfaithful
I have power to fight illness in my mental
I wasn't rested, wasn't ready, and through all the day I carry
Weight of stress from yesterday, like a snowball down a valley
When it crashes in the thorny bushes full of tangled ivy
I am dragged into the storm and pushed and pulled through pain I'm hiding
I'm so tall that people ask me how's the weather?
You don't want to hear the answer to that question
I took one too many dabs and shrooms and acid
Don't come down completely after using that shit
To be honest though I was already trippin
From the start I know I was so very different
Took too long to grow a mask so I could fit in
Did some drugs that showed me I's mad from the beginning
When the weather's getting messy, that's when I know
In my bed I am not resting like I need to
Then I bag up all my stress and drag it with me
Til I have a chance to face that crap completely
Meditation helps prevent this toxic buildup
Moderation with the weed to stop insomnia
But escaping frequently, intoxicated
Doesn't really change a thing, not medicated
God have mercy, I've been hurting. It's confusing, all-consuming
I can't let me fall into these twisted views, the loss of beauty
Help me find direction, it's beyond perplexing
Is my mind a prison? Have I become obsessive?
My depiction is a victim of the system that I live in
Egotistical perspective, getting sick of pessimism
Feeling seasonal affective, chilling wind depressive symptoms
See a difficult reflection, living in a mental schism
Hypersensitive my senses, heightened nervous system glitch, sur-
viving with a mental difference, like a trip without a substance
Kinda wish there's not the stigma, fed up with the pessimism
I'm not lazy, I'm not sick just stimulated past my limit
In my brain I scream until I write these pages
Then impatiently I wait til I'm not needed
So that I can meet the microphone and feed it
Release everything, it's time to show my secrets
Like a bird is compelled to sing
I am learning to spread my wings
Writing words is the best release
For the hurt in my chest to leave
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6. |
Perfect Storm
06:43
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Feels like I'm in purgatory
Reliving my cursed story
Seems I'm in the perfect storm
Feels like I'm in purgatory
Green lightning like a serpent forms
Leaves of ivy golden thorns
Beast arrives with eyes of scorn
In the sky the heavens torn
Feast your eyes the devil's born
Feed it life, the rest shall mourn
Evil might possess the world
Sleep tonight and stress no more
I see the light, will not comply
We will survive with honest lives
Though we may climb on ropes of ice
You'll taste your lies when karma arrives
I've had a struggle with inner thoughts
The last few months of winter brought
My seasonal depression on
Apart from how I miss the sun,
My happiness was contingent on
My hope which is now pretty much gone
I splash my face with ice cold water
I've had it with this ocean of trauma
Sadness like explosive lava
God I can't control my thoughts "I've
Got this shit" I tell myself but
Honestly I doubt like hell
Sometimes I don't know how to heal
And cry cause I want out of here
Get high so I don't drown in tears
I'm fine until those clouds are near
The light I know is right in here
My eyes are closed, recite a prayer
Revive my soul my mind be clear
Rewrite the broken lies I hear
The fight is over, make that clear
The sky has opened, daylights here
See christ reborn please take my wheel
And guide me toward a place to heal
Be gentle on the brakes and steer
Me into outer space revealing
Why I'm out of place, these feelings
Fly me to a state of healing
Remind me that the angels hear me
I'd like to see my face more clearly
I strive for better days I really
Do try to make a change but sometimes
I find my mistakes eating holes through my mind
But can't find the dang remote to rewind
Going through this phase I'm feeling like
I just need a chance to make it right
I've tried to explain but just can't find
Out why I carried such guilt to this life
When I was little kid I just wanted to be kind
I'd cry at the idea of making someone cry
In these trying times I analyze
The trajectory of the path I climb
So obsessively, yeah I cannot lie
I have set my sights up kinda high
When I turn the page I'll feel alive
When I purge the hate I'll see the light
If I've learned a thing then I'll be kind
So help me turn the page this time
The fight is over, do not fear
The sky has opened, daylight's here
See christ reborn please take my wheel
Just drive me slow and guide me home
The sun now shines, the sky is clear
Now spring arrives with nice fresh air
Bring us new life, revive our spirits
Your whispers ride inside the ether
I listen quiet, music of heaven
Within my finely tuned perception
Witness my silent smooth ascension
In these enlightened meditations
Sometimes I find a moment so precious
Recline my mind and open the present
Realize my demons I've only imagined
Future anxiety, memories trapped in
Learning to guide my ego's direction
Turning bad types of mental distractions
Into a bright and clean rumination
Churning out lines of creative passion
Yearning to free unneeded attachments
Burning in fire emotional baggage
Purging my being of physical toxins
Remember to breath the spirit of oxygen
Make it clear the fight is over
Daylight's here, the sky hath opened
Take my wheel oh christ reborn
Drive me slow and guide me home
Have no more fear, the sun now shines
The nice fresh air of spring arrives
Revive our spirits, bring us life
Inside the ether, secrets fly
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7. |
This Is Not Humankind
03:59
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Jerry Marzinsky:
"One of the things we used, the 'That's A Lie' program, that's on my site at jerrymarzinsky.com, so that's free to anybody who wants to put it to use. It's all written up there, how to use it, what it is, how it works... but what they do is, for the most part, they sound just like your regular thoughts. Except their intent is very much different. They hit us all."
I know these two guys, and they live in my head
And I call them Flea and Fred
They live in my mind, but they don't pay any rent
And I'd love to see them dead
When I'm out living life, when I'm laying in bed
When I'm talking to my wife they put these thoughts into my head
And it's the dumbest silly lies, all the things that they've said
They wanna make me lose my mind with hatred, fear, and regret
Like mosquitoes they provoke; they have no power of their own
They might conceal themselves in smoke, but I can see they're just a joke
These motherfuckers are sneaky, can't always trust what I'm thinking
How do I know what's my own mind, when their voices sound like mine?
You are not welcome in this house and I will fucking kick you out
So watch me laugh in your face and call you out on your games
I want myself to be happy, you do not help, you only stab me
That's my health and my energy, go back to hell you are my enemy
And you will never get the pleasure of tricking me into anger
As I watch you fade away, I just blow a kiss and wave
And that's the last thing you will see as I kick you out of me
I'm not gonna let you feed on my constant misery
And that's the last thing you will know. I only listen to my soul
And I am happy and I am whole. You never even took a toll
You taught me who I am by showing me what I'm not
And I thank you for the scam. You silly geese got caught
This is not humankind, this is a virus of the mind
It sneaks inside us, you and I, we need to fight this and unite
They don't define us, humankind, they're just a virus of the mind
They sneak inside us, you and I, just gotta fight them and unite
Jerry Marzinsky:
"They hit us all to varying degrees. They have complete access to your memory. They can pull up any rotten thing you've ever done, throw it in your face, and just keep rubbing it, and rubbing it, and rubbing it until you create that negative emotional energy that they feed on, and then they drain you. They hate being laughed at, they hate being mocked. They're parasites. They're energetic parasites, and they hit us all. It's what drives paranoid schizophrenia, it's the voices, it's not any chemical brain imbalance. So they're out there, they hit us all."
This is not humankind, this is a virus of the mind
It sneaks inside us, you and I, we need to fight this and unite
They won't divide us, humankind, they're just a virus of the mind
They sneak inside us, you and I, just gotta fight em and unite
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8. |
The Veil Is Thin
03:15
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On days like this the veil is thin
That place I miss I feel within
Just beyond reach, I quietly grieve
This memory I can't quite retrieve
My home is not here nor now
But time has brought me here somehow
Alone and lost, these tears fall down
My bones, my thoughts still hear the sounds
Is it history or destiny, this silent song
The persisting question of where I belong
A distant existence where I must go on
Living in resistance while my home is gone
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9. |
Coexistence
03:55
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Can I be given coexistence of ambition and patience
Acceptance in a situation that I wish to make different
To resist my existence before progressive transition
Is to create apprehension of potential regression
Because when I'm in the entrance to a pleasant experience
When subsistence moves in to a flow of wondrous abundance
I'll be haunted by the notion of losing this achievement
And returning full rotation to my current position
The message is that I still need some practice in the lesson
Of identity independent of material possessions
Neurosis ain't a process inflicted by what's outside of me
It's my responsibility to cultivate stability
Cause freedom isn't about getting the things you are cravin
It's the ability to be happy in any situation
Happiness from within, the only thing that can't be taken
May be the best ambition above external possessions
To be reflected and projected in the outer and objective
To explore all perspectives and assess them retrospective
You are not your money or your job or your pension
You are truly something that is beyond your comprehension
Imagination is the key to the expansion
You'll find out why the hanged man is actually dancing
You are not your name or your body or your color
You are not your fame or your country or your car
You are not these things, you are nothing, you are all
Do you ever think about what's beyond these walls?
Open, open, open, open
Shatter everything
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10. |
I SHIT DMT
02:57
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Standing under the shower head
Washing down all the dirt and sweat
Gonna smell like a flower bed
Slip on tiles and hurt my neck
Should I dial an ambulance?
I think I wouldn't stand a chance
If they find where I have my stash
That I'm hiding inside my ass
They'd be liable to get the feds
Hey you guys he got crystal meth
Make me lie on the hospital bed
Watch them guys all go on a binge
Then their eyes would get super big
Ain't no ice that was in that bag
They'd be crying and screaming "shit!"
"Jesus christ look what we just did"
They just crossed over to the edge
Of the universe in their heads
That ain't possible but it is
No way to reverse what they did
You think Jupiter's pretty big
Speck of dirt compared to my dick
Cause now they're lost in a mental trip
Trying to process my chemical shit
I shit crystal DMT
That's dimethyltryptamine
I'm no simple human being
I'm an astral entity
I make fifty g a week
Selling to hippies in need
I don't need MHRB
Just let me go take a pee
Pull your bag out of my ass
Wash my hands or you be mad
You take drug and give me cash
I eat lunch and get it back
In my butt is trippy crap
In my lungs is hippy crack
Filling up balloons I grab
Sell you one if you like that
Inside my stomach, loads of acid
Hydrochloric? No not that
Mine's lysergic, lots of tabs
I regurgitate for cash
I don't work, I make a splash
Buy a car each time I gag
Black market I supply that
Fat wallet might break my back
Internet says I'm an urban legend
FDA says I'm schedule one
DEA tryna get my picture
Teach their agents to arrest this man
Even Terrence would shit his pants
If he could glimpse what's in my anus
He could never begin to grasp
How much heaven is in my ass
I'm a billion dollar mass
Of an experiment gone unmasked
Never again will they run that test
Even the military can't stop this
They've been obliterated by the mist
Day one the second that I took a piss
They got a sickening surprise at best
Tasting my salvinorin a. bad trip
I shit crystal DMT
That's dimethyltryptamine
I'm no simple human being
I'm an astral entity
I make fifty g a week
Selling to hippies in need
I don't need MHRB
I can shit pure DMT
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11. |
Scraps (solo)
04:03
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Two weeks of scraps with some stitches and glue
You'll hear the magic when my mix tape hits you
Verses attach into mystical music
Perfect my madness the flow state is true
A thousand buried splinters hurts you worse than a curvy blade
That's how I'm carried into my personal hurricane
Lose count of every syllable and worthless word that I say
The doubt is raining heavy like the perfect storm hip hooray
I love to feel thunder and lightning and pouring rain
Just don't put me under a sky of white snowy paste
With cold freezing weather and dry biting wind in my face
Cause nothing works better to deprive me of inner peace
Just give me the sun... And give me the rain
Just let me get burned... And wash it away
Why doesn't it hurt? Fire is my name
I want nothing more... Just warm sunny days
I love to take an overdose
Of solar heroin you know
I go through most the year alone
The clouds take over sun won't show
No colors grow just bones and ghosts
So cold I'm frozen to the soul
Bipolar only through the north
Wind blowing on me losing hope
Cause I got no fat tissue
Do I look like I have issues?
I'm just fine dude I assure you
I eat like a horse in puberty
People joke "oh yeah? Where you
Eat at, the fuckin Crack Barrel?"
At least I'm not a stick figure
I eat a lot and exercise
It keeps me strong but not bigger
Sure I love how easy it is
But I wonder if I'm sick and
Hurting in my body I got
Purple on my bottom eyelids
Like I've got a parasite
A leech of trauma takes a bite
I've seen the bottom it ain't nice
When you're one step from happiness
But it's head lice and it's cat piss
And it's hoarders and psychosis
And your bed lies on the carpet
Just a pillow, blanket, mattress
Or a sofa that you surf on
But it's not in a blue ocean
It's in cat hair and in dog shit
You're in despair and you're hopeless
Life just ain't fair for us all, bitch
And your best just ain't good enough
When it's bed bugs and ciggy butts
And moldy walls and piles of junk
Where roaches crawl and life just sucks
And those with all the high end funds
Just don't give us one tiny fuck
And even when you win it's endless
Not easy living independent
The demon within isn't different
We're sinking in this twisted system
The fees and rent and bills relentless
They leave us empty, filled with sickness
They're leeches which instill resentment
They feed us shit and pills til death but
I just
Came to thank the state for saying I
Make the wage it takes to fill our
Plates and feed our faces pay the
Person that maintains our place to
Stay it breaks the bank we need some
Aid to keep us stable they don't
Care to make it fair the state just
Hates my name I swear that they're just
Fucked
Cause
Institutions are getting hard to trust
When the truth is not what they offer us
Don't know who to trust, are they all corrupt?
Only you can judge, will you hold a grudge?
No I'll just
Pave my way to change the pain I
Came to play and break the chains they
Gave us made of paper taped to-
gether weaker than a feather
Gain relief we'd never fathom
Staying weak in heaven's bottom
So I'm speaking from the heart and
Hoping people love my art and
Find relatable my hardships
Find it valuable, cathartic
Find the time to see a performance
Fans in line who say "I love this"
Making my career enormous
Maybe I can see this happen
Aiming high no fears I'm trapped in
Say it's a lie my ears won't listen
Say it's a waste but I can't contain it
It's try or die, won't stay complacent
Say I may fail that just makes me crave it
Play my game well I'll invade your playlist
I am not built like I'm fake and plastic
I am an alien my veins bleed music
I will not quit til the stage is habit
Still I won't quit, I was made to have this
I'm not hypnotized
By electronic light
Unless it's the type
With a keyboard and mic
I'm bored out of my mind
And porked out of my rind
Need more beautiful rhymes
Need more musical time
Your world is not the same as mine
My gourd that's on this lengthy spine
Is more than decoration, all right?
Ignoring it is a fatal crime
So I pour in every grain of time
Recording every phrase I write
Important that I make my life
Immortal through creative light
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12. |
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GZS NEWS
BREAKING NEWS!
A local Lettuce Town resident by the name of Jeffery O'Donnell shit his pants while shopping for groceries yesterday. He was standing right here, about to put a bag of lemons into his cart, when his bowels suddenly decided to spew at least an entire gallon of hot, steamy shit into his pants and down onto the floor right in the middle of the fruit aisle. Look, you can even still see a little shit in the crack between these two tiles of linoleum!
Eyewitnesses report that Jeffery then started crying, saying "I'm never going to live this down" and "this is going to define who I am for the rest of my life". Luckily for O'Donnell, a kind employee reassured him that "Hey, only like three people saw this happen. It's not like this is going to be all over the news for the next week. Don't even worry about it."
Stay tuned for more updates on this juicy story! Now here's Tom Withewether.
(Tom) "Hi, I'm Tom Withewether. I'm very excited to talk about this fascinating story that's quickly sweeping the incontinent. You know, it must be absolutely mortifying to shit your pants in the middle of a supermarket. I couldn't imagine what Jeffery O'Donnell is going through right now, and I feel very strongly for him."
Thank you Tom. You know, I was thinking, what if the city hosts a big party where we all surround Jeffery O'Donnell's house and hold up signs saying "we know you pooped your pants, but it's okay. shit happens."? We all need a way to show him that we're supportive of him through this hard time in his life.
(Tom) "Great idea, Mark! In fact, I think we should make this a weekly event. It would be a great way to bring the community closer together and make Mr. O'Donnell feel understood."
I like how you think, Tom, but how about we take this one step further and turn it into a city-wide holiday? Every week we'll have a brief gathering, but once a year, we'll spend the whole day singing songs about why it's okay to shit your pants sometimes, and that you don't need to be embarrassed. Jeffrey O'Donnell's sacrifice will never be forgotten. Because of him, we could prevent a lot of social isolation with his heart-touching story.
(Tom) "Now we're talking, Mark! We could even erect a statue in the town square of Jeffery O'Donnell shitting himself next to a basket of lemons to send a message out to future generations for millenia to come that 'hey, you're not the only person in history who's ever shit themselves. it's okay. you can forget about it and move on with your life.' Because if I were to ever shit myself in the middle of a grocery store, the last thing I would want would be for it to follow me around for the rest of my life."
I completely agree, Tom. Thank you for joining us today.
(Tom) "And thank you for having me."
Next up on Lettuce Town News: we invade Jeffery O'Donnell's house to get a live interview! We'll be right back with this groundbreaking development after a shart commercial break.
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millicow Kansas City, Missouri
love.
A style all of its own, inspired by rap, hip hop, synthwave, classical music,
heavy metal, black metal, synthpop, and more.
Packed full of finely crafted sounds, textures, melodies, rhythms, harmonies, and conscious, insightful poetry, I translate spirit into sounds that aim to induce states of psychedelic trance and emotional catharsis.
other projects:
greatinbox.bandcamp.com
... more
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